R&R: Recaps & Reactions- Ep. 5

More Aftermath: ERICA DIXON & JOSELINE 

Struggle Rows and her see through turtleneck top are out in full effect this episode as she goes to meet up with Erica, as the fight aftermath Saga continues. To my surprise she [Struggle Rows], intends to apologize for her ratchet accusations. Erica is like wayment, You confuse me for some random chick and then pop off? I love how Erica shuts her down once SR starts mentioning Scrappy. Karlie on the other hand would have welcomed that discussion. Erica says, "I still don't like you just off the strength of what you did." And Joso let's Erica know she is a "Growb Woben"! Struggle Rows' conclusion in that maybe Erica is just jealous of her. Riiiiiiiight!

The Emancipation of MiMi

This looks like that scene on Love & Hip-Hop where Emily B sits all melancholy and sad in her new apartment as that dramatic music plays. *insert Mimi* Voila!  "I have had it with Stevie." *zooms in camera* Oh shoot. Sh#t just got real!! She's slowly taking his stuff out the dresser!

I want to know if this is the house he bought for her and their daughter or if this is her house aka their house since he supposedly lives there. And if it is that house he bought for her, is it hers to keep once they break up? Seriously, who is really moving who out at the end of the day? 

Well Mimi starts getting all googly-eyed over a family photo and like clockwork the voice of reason comes knocking, Ariane. "It's only so much I can take... but the bottom line is as long as he keeps f*cking with Joseline, I'm  not f*cking him." Keyword: "As long as". Put the needle on the sad song, because like I called it last week, this smoke blower is ready and willing to take her Beetle back as long as. 

My girl Ariane is singing Sunshine Anderson's "Hear It All Before". I think she just wants some good old non-depressing girl chat. She enlighten's we the viewer,"But Mimi's to blame too. She's always there to welcome him with open arms." UGH! Honestly, Mimi and her "My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy" thoughts need a prescription. 

Then she shows up to his house with 3 boxes in tow. I'm starting to wonder if Stevie actually lived there. Then they agree to go to a therapist. Soooo... she's still giving this relationship a fighting chance. Stevie J is calm the entire time, but that kiss he was about to give her looked like he was about to head butt her. I'm just annoyed that big bad Mimi is crying. 

"I'll Asthma Attack Ya": Lil' SCRAPPY & ERICA & MOMMA DEE

So I guess Scrappy had a heart attack or something and of course Momma Scrap is there for her pup. I really can't take Scrapp's faux suede bed set and I'm wish I could zoom in on that picture hung in the white frame beside his wall... smells like Buckey. Anyway, Scrappy starts recounting his trauma... "So I'm taking the pump." Nooo, not a gun.. A real life asthma pump. Dude is whining about how Erica didn't take him to the hospital. She wouldn't wake up and then got up and went to work, while calling his homeboy to come escort him to the hospital. Somehow I found it hard to believe that Scrappy was undergoing an asthma attack between Erica's snores, snooze button  and shower. If he can go 30min without breathing, perhaps he really is some crossbreed between dog and human. *Sideeye* 2 words: Drama King! It's all good though Scrappy, Momma got you back like chiropract (in my Andre 3000 voice). 

What are those sounds Momma is making?  Emmoyoomayyeeeyeyoo Don't tell me yet another dialect on this shot has emerged. 

Then Scrappy meets up with Maxine from Arthur to gain some sympathy for his attack. He fails to mention that Erica was in the bed with him. How convenient! 

I can't stand these Buckey one-on-ones's where she voices her personal opinion. You have no opinion Maxine and don't you dare call Erica a dummy! The nerve of this bish. But of course she wants to know about them, and then proceeds to ask if Erica knows about ____. I'm assuming their little funny looks that they think have eluded us mean, "Does Erica know we smashed." This heaux is no good! She thinks this is a game, but she lines her lips with burgundy pencil. Why is she throwing up her hands in her one-on-one like she's about to engage in a WorldStarHipHop street fight? I can't take her seriously, even Flavor Flav chucked the deuces on her. Scrappy, what are you doing!?

Well, Erica and Momma meet up, because Momma has a bone to pick since Erica left her son "for daaaaid". 

"When I got to the mercy room..." Erica is so confused she's like this dude doesn't want to deal with me so I called up the people he can stand and went and did what I had to do for me. "Scrappy has asthma, he has asthma attacks." *chuckles* WELP! 

I'm getting nervous, Momma Dee keeps motioning her hands like she is strangling somebody or something.  invisible. The word of the day is "Disattached". That just made me sad. =  ( 

YOU LEFT MY CHILD FOR DAAAAAAAAIDDDDD!!!!!!!!

Scrappy and Erica meet up in reading glasses to discuss his asthma attack, but Erica hits the nail on the head. "You just need something and if that's what you want to use, then it just shows what type of person you really are." Yup! Scrappy is trying to find his out and he is hell bent on exiting stage left now that he's got Maxine lined up. And I can't believe Erica has to go to work every day out of necessity, while Scrappy blows his money in the club. SMH. 

KARLIE REDD vs. Joso

OMG she has the stinkiest walk in those red pants. Can someone teach Karlie the difference between a daytime outfit and a nighttime outfit. Everything about her is saying Night Night N*%$a. But it looks like she finally got to meet up with Stevie. 

"My management is Cash Money." Waaaaaaaait a minute. WHAT? Who over at Cash Money is managing this messy chick. Karlie needs a PR team so she can stop issuing her own statements. Well they come to an agreement and he tells her to get on stage and perform. Well.. she starts chirping  something to the tune of, 

"Louis Prada Gucci, Louis Prada Gucci, Pop them tags, Pop them tags."

Dear Karlie, 

I didn't know you were the long lost member of the OMG Gurlz (sp?) 

Then Karlie looks like she sees a ghost when Joso walks in. Joso is like, "Why wasn't I told this 40 year old has been would be here." All I can say is Joseline got a lot of Sugar Honey Ice Tea. Once I decipher what shes saying, she throws so many shots. Its hilarious: "Whah do she doob?", "Wit dis 40 yr ow", "Just be sayxsee if you don't know how to dance." 

What I find funny is how Stevie just found out she was being managed by Cash Money (which I really can't even believe) and now all of a sudden, Cash Money "asked them to do a record together." #LiesSociopathsTell

Beetle and Joso are really going back in forth in front of Tropical Stank Walk, who still hasn't said a thing. 

Joso: "Where you come in at? Okay well she can be with deb... No no I'm not doing that.. Okay well I don't need to background dancers." Then Stevie busts out a never before seen face, as he says, "Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute... I need you to do dis." Dude rises up out his chair like he is about to pimp slap poor Joso. "This is about a business, so you put your emotions to the side."

Joso: "Why don't she do a song with Nicki Minaj since she down with Cash Money? Why she gotta do a song with me." This is starting to sound like a younger daughter being told by her father that her older sister has to escort her to the playground everyday. Karlie is SOOOOOOOoOoo desperate. Then Joso starts spilling crocodile tears. 

Wait why is Benzino waiting in the back of that music venue like he's picking up his stripper home girl after work? Sketchy. He looks like a toad. "There was a vibe, there was a connection.. Right away, I feel.. I felt it." OMG b*itch please! I can't deal with her and her vibes. Ms. Cleo you really irk my soul. She is really smitten over this no-neck toad. What happened to Aaron Reid? 

K. MICHELLE & co. 

I guess Mimi decided to take K Michelle up on her offer for some girl chat. They exchange tea over toe jobs. Neither can seem to figure out why Joso is so upset. "Why are you mad?"... "Because we can't tell if she a man or a woman. I would be mad too." K Michelle honey you are funty!! LMBO. "She got to take that up with Jesus and not you."

So K Michelle speaks on her beef with Karlie Redd, who always seems to bring drama with her. "This tropical bird," go on K! I could not have said that one better myself. I'm dying! "She's too old for that senior citizens should not act like that." Wait how old is Tropical Bird? Anyway, K convinces Mimi to set up a hash out sesh between the two, so they can confront her. K has a Tami streak in her not to be f*cked with. Tropical B better be ready to flap it. 

The she later meets up with Rasheeda and Erica, somewhere in a park beside the road, in vibrant beach chairs for some girl chat over Pinkberry. K is like wait you have to teach him what? 

Then she hits up the restaurant for her hash session with Karlie. I don't know what Mimi is wearing or doing, but she looks like a character from The Wiz. Tropic Thunder walks in and K automatically starts throwing shade. "Girl you look like you is fixin ta go to a red carpet on the grammy's but the Knockoff one.".. "I will never trust a woman with a rhinestone snake around her neck." I live! I say this every time about her late outfits. Mimi cuts to the chase. I love how Karlie tries to mispronounce Ariane's name and K gives her the bish please you know her name. But no seriously is Karlie 40, because she looks really good for her age?  Karlie can't get a word in edgewise so she starts wiggling sh*t.

"Oooooohhhhh *does spirit finger* this b*tch is shaking the table." 

This by far was one of the funniest quotes of this episode.  

LMBO

"Dont shake unless you ready to get SHOOK." 

"YOU HAVE NO RECEIPTS! You f*^#ing everybody in the industry and you have no receipts." Oh shoot! #TeaTime! I really can't refute K's claims, because Karlie lost all credibility with me when she showed up with LA Reid's obese knockoff in episode one. But wait, run that back? Karlie has K Michelle on tape? She is such a rat. It's so funny pausing the television to see everyone in the restaurant's head turn.
"Every time I see you. Every time I see you. Every time I see you. Every time I see you." This sounds like hook to one of Karlie's struggle songs. Hey, might be a hit compared to that teenie bopper song she was singing. I'm going to just assume something really good was edited out, because K. Michelle is yelling about being from Memphis, Karlie has a HUGE lump on her forehead and she's crying. Well in the word's of K. Michelle, "Maybe she won't shake a table no mo'..."Karlie has really sank to all time lows this week. Recording people, getting beat up, stealing songs from teenagers and let's not forget... Benzino... 

*sigh* 


I'm just glad someone finally called her out for the antics she pulls.