R&R: Recaps & Reactions- Ep. 4

I immediately learned something new this episode, and that's that I've been pronouncing Ariane's name wrong. According to K. Michelle, it's pronounced more like Air-ean & I was saying Ah-re-on. Good to know. 

MiMi's THERAPY SESSION 

K. Michelle wants tea and tea is what she gets. Mimi fills K. Michelle on her love triangle with Joso. She gets all fake-mad as usual. K. Michelle offers encouraging words. Dr. Ariane tells her to know when to walk away.  Mimi has another revelation "I'm not no woman scorned, I'm none of that. I just want to move on. I'm done." Where have I heard this before?

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

*hits snooze button until the next alarm*

MOMMA DEE

Momma Scrap visits her newly single son. She asks him if Erica knows he's single, and of course, he's just single of the mind and body, while he pretends Erica holds his heart. Momma says, "I know you and Shay go out from time to time with her pretty self. They say best friends make good wives." Umm this would all make sense if the Shay she is referring to wasn't Buckey on VH1s original muckery of a show, "The Flavor of Love." What is Momma Dee on? But forget all of that, once she finds out some dude named Stevie J called Erica out her name, she opens drama's door. 

"You teach this person that he is never to disrespect the Prince of the South... Go at him. Make him answer. Check him." More uh wise words from Momma Scrap. 

JOCELINE 

Joso went to the clinic and cuts to the chase, " If we not gonna be together.. We not having no sayx..." 

Stevie says, "I'm celibate." Oh shoot. This dude is bold. So he didn't even go to the clinic with her and all he did was make her some breakfast?!!!! These crocodile tears. "Awl I want from Stebie ihs da trufe." Joso wants to be loved to bad, she falls right into his trap, and all Stevie wants is to make money off of her. 

When Stevie J drops in on her at the dance studio, this chic is worming her body like a 12 year old who is sneaking some "older girl" moves in her room. Joso's not wearing her favorite accessory, but I'm starting to wonder if plaits are making a comeback in the South. Is this an ATL this or a bamma thing? We the people need to comprehend. Anyway, I'm not sure any Spanish speaking person understands anything in that song. Mermish is an archaic language only known to the last known living creature, Joseline Hernandez.  I die when Stevie gives her a motivational pimp speech -some yang about them being like Bonnie and Clyde, and she cheeses so hard, "Like ohh my gaaaaa he said I'm his Bonnie."

"Just sampling the product." *Stevie face* 
*worms body*

ERICA & SCRAPPY

Erica has no idea that Scrappy has not one, but TWO feet out the door. Scrappy really needs to be more up front. The lies and deception is just disrespectful.


Then he goes to meet up with his "BFF" Shay "Buckey" Johnson. She's in a bathing suit and heels. As he's telling her the story, all she seems to get out of it is, "But that's your baby mamma but not your girlfriend.. But you sticking up for her cause that's yo' babymama." I hate the way she says "baybeh mo-ma" all fast. That really means, "fool don't come over here telling me about some other chic unless yal not together. You mine now." 

Bish you scheming and I'm onto you. 
TEAM ERICA!! -If I'm allowed to be corny for 2.5.

"A lot of you may know me as Buckey, from Flavor of Love & Charm School, but you can call me Shay Johnson." Ummmmmm correction, you ARE and will ALWAYS be Buckey, and that's what I will always call you, unless you prefer Maxine from Arthur or Berenstain Bear. What's up with that two digit wig? Hairlines like that don't run over $99.


Is he pouring lotion on her? What did I say, she is a scheme-er.. Like she doesn't want a booty rub. "Let's just go inside." Now what was the point of rubbing suntan lotion on you for that splotchy tan you were about to have if you aren't even going to lay in the sun? This is why you will forever be Buckey -your antics don't fool America.


RASHEEDA
I spy a cliche reality television romantic dinner scene, but this time it wasn't on a rooftop. Zah Zah Zah Zzzzz

MiMi FAUST & STEVIE J

Mimi is breathing hard, looking like somebody's bodyguard with her nostrils flared up -She's ready to blow more smoke, no fire.
Mimi: "You never came to my defense or anything. You gon let this b*tch sit there and f*^&^#ng call me out my name."
Stevie: "Come on ma... I, I'm not tryna argue... I'm not tryna scream. How can we fix this?"


Hilarious! I can't even quote all of that... just pure comedy. Stevie J has the most controlled blood pressure of any being on this planet. And he's wearing a vest with no shirt on. He's wearing a vest... With no shirt on!


Now listen to Mimi when she talks. See between the smoke. In her mind she's still giving him an ultimatum. The day Stevie dogs Joso and professes his love for her, again, remember these backpeddling claims:  
"I hope you're happy with that b*#^#". Ummm, no you're not!.. "If you don't want to make s*^# right..." "If that's what Stevie chooses to do then..." 


Anyway why is Benzino on this episode and why is Stevie still wearing his sweater vest... with no shirt on?

If they say MONOGAMOUS one more time... o.O *passes the ninja please award* 

THE FIGHT!

Finally! The reason I watch reality TV. Another classic fight scene for the books. Stevie's apology goes something like, "If I called you a b*tch I wanted to apologize." Dude is a psychopath. Does he ever take responsibility? What does he mean IF? Some apology. Scrappy is in Don mode, and Joso starts speaking Mermish again, and I'm not underwater to understand: "Waymen wa ih da pwah-lub? Dih yal fuuuh? So wata pwah-leb?" Seriously why is she talking? This is one of those "this is between men, fall back" moments or simpler, "You are my side chic, stop speaking." But no, she thinks she heard of Stevie messing with some woman. She's concocted one of those insecure female stories. Someone tell me when it was okay for side chicks to confront other possible side chicks. 

It all goes downhill from there. Joso is doing a split in the grass grabbing for her "man" and charging at people barefoot once security started slipping. Stevie is biting Scrappy on the shoulder. There is a lot of edited commotion, and it seems like Mike Tyson is more mad at Joso than he is at Scrappy. Its like when a child embarrasses their parent and the parent defends them, but you know the child is about to get it once they get home. To what extent, I cannot call, but Mike Tyson seems like he's attempted to knock back Joso's Adam's apple more than once.  

Scrappy the Don reminds Grammy winning Stevie, "Ain't nobody getting a check in the A now." Riiiiiight. Won't these fools all just get in the car and go home. That's the only thing smart any of them have said this entire scene. 

THE AFTERMATH:

Mimi is recapping the events that lead up to "The fight" but was a deaf mute while her "man" stood there and disrespected Erica. Run that back. Then they form an anti-Joso pact. 

Beetle visits Joso for breakfast -more hypocrisy. These two, lol. Stevie basically tells her stay out his business, he will handle it on his own time, because Joso made him look like the woman. Tah! I won't disagree to that. 


Until next week...